Character Faceoff
by Mrs.Cullen2be
Summary: My reasons why we love the twilight characters! Chapters up comparing why Edward's better than jacob, why Jacob's better than Edward, Why Emmett's better than Jasper, and Jasper's better than Emmett, comparing Bella/Tanya, Edward/Mike, and MORE! Hilarious
1. Why Edward's better than Jacob

**Hello Fellow Edward lovers and Twilight Obsessers. This is a list of the reasons I think Edward is better than Jacob. I don't want to offend anybody I love ALL the characters! (except James, victoria, Jane, and the other bad vamps.)**

**This used to be called "why Edward's better than Jacob" and i had a bunch of chapters and reviews and such, but i accidently DELETED IT! AHHHH!! So i'm just starting over, and posting 1 chapter at a time. So if you see some reasons that i say i got in a review, but you don't see the review, that's because i accidently deleted it. :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Edward or Jacob, Sadly. **

**REASONS WHY EDWARD IS BETTER THAN JACOB.**

**1. **Edward has more self control.

**2.** Edward loves Bella way more than Jacob does.

**3. **Edward is a vampire and vampires are better than werewolves.

**4. **Edward would never _force _Bella to kiss him. Only if she wants to.

**5. **Edward is better looking. (in my opinion.)

**6. **Edward could never hurt Bella phisically. (unlike Jacob, who has!)

**7. **Edward is smarter. (he has gone to high school too many times to count!)

**8.** Edward can read minds and Jacob can't!

**10.** Jacob hasn't imprinted yet, and if Bella chose him, he would eventually imprint and leave Bella all alone.

**Here are some more reasons why Edward is better than Jacob that I got in a review From LupsandTnks **

**11. **Edward wants Bella to be happy. Jacob doesn't care eather way.

**12.** Edward never gets mad AT Bella.

**13**. Edward has the Cullens... And my Jasper

**Here are some from JustAlyse**

14. Edward has waited over one hundred years for Bella. (he never loved another)

15. Edward Plays the piano and writes music. (talk about HOT!)

16. Edward wants Bella to stay human, but is willing to give Bella what she wants. so she can be happy.

**A/N. I hope you like it. The next chapter will be reasons why Jacob is better than Edward. Personally, I'm an Edward fan, but I'm sure i can come up with a few things to make the Jacob-lovers happy. Please review! If you have any other reasons, Tell me and I'll post them up, and give you credit for the ones you come up with. I'll post the next chapter after I get atleast 3 reviews. That shouldn't be too hard for you guys to do. Just click on the little review button and tell me what you think. **

**P.S. Thanks LupsandTnks andJustAlysefor the reasons you sent in. (in my other story that i DELETED!) If anybody else can think of some more reasons Edward is better than Jacob, Feel free to tell me! i'll post them up and give you credit! **


	2. Why Jacob's better than Edward

**A/N. Ok, just like I promised, Here's the reasons that I could come up with why Jacob's better than Edward. Sorry Edward! I really am!**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Jacob or Edward. **

**1**. Jacob is warm

**2**. Jacob's not overly protective

**3**. Jacob doesn't need to biteBella for her to stay with him.

**4**. Jacob doesn't have to be as careful around Bella

**5**. Jacob can give bella what she _wants_

**6**. Jacob can give bella werewolf rides on his back if they buy a saddle

**7**. Jacob has cool long hair

**8**. Jacob's an awesome mechanic

**9**. Jacob doesn't drive faster than the speed limit.

**10**. Jacob won't be discusted by the human food that bella eats.

**Here's some more reasons Jacob-x-lover sent in. **

11. Jacob's not stupidly noble.

12. Jacob's hot. (in her oppinion.)

13. Jacob can't eat Bella.

14. Jacob's not over 100 years old.

15. Jacob's funny.

16. Jacob rides a MOTORCYCLE!

**Wow! that was harder than I thought it would be! Ok, If you guys think of anything else I can add, Review and tell me! PLEASE! I only have one review, and that makes me very sad! The next chapter will be why Edward is better than MIKE!. Tell me if you have any ideas for that! Ok, Please Review!**

**P.S. Special thanks to Jacob-x-lover for sending in more reasons why Jacob's better than Edward. And thanks so much for the reviews everyone is sending me! You guys are awesome!**


	3. why Edward's better than MIKE!

Here's reasons why Edward's better than Mike Newton! I love picking on Mike, he's so pathetic!

Reasons 1-5 are from EdwardandBellafoheva

Reasons 6-11 are from FanFanatic13

1. It's Mike Newton duh

2. He doesn't look like a baby

3. he understands what no means

4. He's not a playboy

5.Edward is a vampire.

6.Edward is not desperate.

7.Edward is hot.(Dropdeadgeorgous.)

8.Edward can kill a MOUNTAIN LION with his BARE HANDS!

9.Edward can play the piano

10.Edward is "bella obsessed" in a good way, Mike is "obsessed"with bella in a addictive,creepy,stalker,mental institute,perverted way.

11.Edward is very sincere.

A/N. Special thanks to all of you who have reviewed with great ideas for my next chapters!

All credit for this chapter goes to EdwardandBellafoheva and FanFanatic13. They came up with all of these reasons why Edward's better than the vile Mike Newton!

Please please please review!! I love reviews! they make me happy! If you have any more ideas for later chapters, please review and tell me!


	4. Why Bella's better than Tanya!

**Ok, here's reasons why Bella is better than Tanya! **

**This chapter was TopazTears1527's idea! The first four reasons were her idea! thank you so much!**

1. Bella has a deeper personality.

2. Bella is Edward's true love.

3. Bella is a brunette (Edward likes brunettes.)

4. Bella's not a victim of a ton of fanfictions with her as the enemie in them.

5. Bella is old fashioned like Edward.

6. Bella smells good! (**well, i guess that could be a good or a bad thing**)

7. Bella lives in Forks, which is much closer to Edward than Tanya is in Denalli!

8. Bella is warm!

9. Bella loves Edward more than Tanya does! (she can't live without him! but Tanya is living without Edward just fine!)

10. Edward can dazzle Bella, but i don't know how well that would work with Tanya!

11. Bella has Charlie as a dad, and he's AWESOME!! (go charlie!!)

**please review!! I love reviews! just press the little purple-ish blue-ish button!! PLEEEEZE!! **

**Thankyou guys for all the suggestions you've given me! They really help! If you have any reasons why Jasper is better than Emmett, PLEASE tell me!! That'll be the next chapter...**

**The one after that will be Why Emmett's better than Jasper! **


	5. Reasons why Emmett is better than Jasper

**hola! here's why Emmett is better than Jasper. **

**Thanks to **_**JadeStern**_** for mentioning this topic, and **roglol ** for comming up with reasons!! You guys are awesome! thankyou soooo much! **

**Reasons why Emmett is better than Jasper:**

1. Emmett has more self control

2. Emmett's stronger

3. Emmett has a better sense of humor!

4. Nobody will beat you up if you are with him, because he has really intimidating muscles!

5. He won't accidently eat you if you get a paper cut!

6. He is good at teasing people!!

7. He has cute dimples

8. he's always up for a good time

9. . Kellan lutz is playing emmett, and he doesn't have to wear a wig that looks like a shaggy beast sitting on top of his head. ( no offence to jackson rathbone, but you have to admit it's sort of humongous)

10. He's got biceps! (** I got like 2 reviews saying that, so I had to add it… lol)**

11. Emmett can always make you laugh!

**That's all i had for why Emmett's better than Jasper. **

**The next chapter is going to be why Jasper's better than Emmett. If you can think of any reasons, PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME! So far, i'm having trouble comming up with reasons jasper's better than Emmett. Please help me out!! I need something out of the ordinary, that would be funny! Thankyou so much to the people who have already reviewed for Jasper! **

**Also, i couldn't reply to a review i got from Qwerty Noir, because she doesn't have an account, but i'd just like to tell her: WOW! How did u know that i was forced to rely on my functionally illiterate second cousin in Idaho over a bad phone connection??**

**Just kidding. You are apparently a pretty big Jacob fan, arent you? wow!**


	6. Why Jasper's better than Emmett

**This is reasons why Jasper's better than Emmett. **

**Thanks to ****vampiresrok****, ****luffin edward-bella 4eva****, ****Taylor the Overlander****, ****x Alice and Rosalie 4 Eva x****, Ally, ****LaTuaCantante14****, ****kaosgurl00****, ****JadeStern****, ****somerandomTwilightfan****, and Roglol for comming up with everything in this chapter!**

**I got TONS of reviews with suggestions! This whole chapter came from reviews! Thank you so much!**

1. Jasper's a good listener

2. Jasper always knows how you feel.

3. Jasper is better behaved

4. Jasper is nice to his brother ( he really tries hard not to kill Bella)

5. Jasper doesn't suffocate you with hugs.

6. Jasper can literally "feel your pain"

7. He thinks before he acts

8. Jasper gave up everything for his Alice, even his diet. (talk about love!)

9. Jasper doesn't break stuff as often as Emmett

10. Jasper doesn't have a totally concieted wife. (Not that Rosalie's THAT bad, but still, she is pretty concieted!)

11. Jasper has a military history

12. Jasper loves Alice, who is AWESOME!

13. Jasper can cheer you up when you're sad

14. Jasper's always very in touch with his feelings

15. Jasper acts his age

16. Jasper's not overly bulky

**Wow! this has been the longest chapter so far! thankyou sooooo much for all the reviews with sugestions!! **

** The next chapter will be why Charlie's better than Billy Black!! Please review with sugestions for the next chapter! Even if you don't have any sugestions, you can still review! i love reviews!**


	7. Why Charlie is better than Billy!

**Sorry it took me so long to update. :) **

**Thanks to **Taylor the Overlander, LaTuaCantante14, kaosgurl00, JadeStern, and musiclover33 for their sugestions!!

**WHY CHARLIE IS BETTER THAN BILLY!!**

**1. **Charlie puts up with Edward.

2. Charlie _tries _to hide his rudeness towards Edward, while Billy is open about it.

3. Charlie likes Alice, who is awesome!

4. Charlie is a chief police

5. Charlie didn't make someone crash Bella's wedding.

6. Charlie bought Bella a truck

7. Charlie sticks up for Bella

8. Charlie is Bella's Dad. (can't replace that)

9. Charlie has a legitimate reason for not likeing Edward, while Billy just dislikes Edward because of his prejudice against vampires.

10. Charlie doesn't know about vampires. (less knowledge is sometimes a good thing!)

11. Charlie is better than Billy because he doesn't have a kid that ruins people's relationships by MAKING OUT WITH THEM.

**A/N. Please review!! Thanks so much for the reviews i've been getting! **

**The next chapter is going to be why Esme is better than Renee! **

**I don't have many ideas for reasons why Esme is better, except for the obviousness that she is a vampire! So i'd love some help!! If you have any ideas, please review and tell me! **


	8. Why Esme is better than Renee

**Ok, here's reasons why Esme's better than Renee! **

**These reasons came from: **roglol, JadeStern, musiclover33, HeartOfMischief, and gawkers!! thankyou so much for all your reasons!! If i could, i'd give u each an edward!!

**Why Esme is better than Renee!**

1. When Esme falls in love she STAYS in love.

2. Esme is more responsible

3. Esme is more motherly.

4. She has awesome chestnut hair

5. Esme is better than Renee because she puts her children before what she wants.

6. Esme is better because she loves Bella enough to die for her.

7. Esme is better because she approves of Bella getting married.

8. Esme is better because she can rein in Alice.

9. SHE CAN COOK! Even though the last time she ate was a really long time ago.

10. Esme lives close to Bella.

11. Esme thinks of Bella as a daughter even though she isn't.

12. Esme is a gangsta (just kidding, I can't think of anything real)

13. Esme is more mature than her kids.

14. Esme doesn't live in florida! (which is icky! trust me, i live there) **(i live in florida too, and i don't nesisarily think it's TOO icky... only during summer)**

**Yeppers! that's it for this chapter!! The next chapter is going to be why Alice is better than Rosalie!! I need HELP!! I love both Alice, and Rosalie, so i'll need u guys to review and help me with reasons! **

**Please review! pretty please with Rpatz on top?? (lol, get it? "Rpatz"?? hahahahaha!!) Yep, that's my dry sence of humor... lol**

**oh! And i'd like to make an anouncement!!**

**Anouncement:**

**I am now officially a Vampire!! YAY!! I drink animal blood! ranging from grizzleys, to mountain lions, to alligators, to Irritable Hoboes!! **

**I have to go, i'm thirsty!**


	9. Why Alice is better than Rosalie

**Here's reasons why Alice is better than Rosalie! This was a difficult chapter to write, because I really don't have anything against Rosalie, and also because i only got 1 review with suggestions for this chapter... :( But thanks for all the other reviews!**

**Thanks to **HeartOfMischief**!! She came up with the first 3 reasons! YAY!**

1. Alice is better because she doesn't resent Bella for being human.

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2. She's better because she can see the future

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3. She's better because she helped save Edward, instead of nearly causing him to die, like Rosalie.

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4. She's better because she chose the Cullens' lifestyle on her own.

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5. Alice has a porche!

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6. Alice is perky!

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7. Alice can shop for you and pick out your whole wardrobe

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8. Alice was Bella's maid of honor

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9. Alice looks like a pixie

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10. Alice's husband is Jasper, who can control your emotions, and is better than Rosalie's husband Emmett! (see chapter 6 for details)

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11. Alice is better because she actually cares about Bella, not just her baby

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12. Alice gets along with Jacob, and Rosalie doesn't! And i like Jacob...

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13. Alice is played by Ashley Green in the movie, and she is really awesome!

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14. Alice can predict the shuffle on her ipod! ( i saw that somewhere, and had to use it)

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**That's all I could come up with for this chapter. Idk what the next chapter will be about yet... any suggestions?? Please review and sugest the next chapter! **

**And, on a random thought... I loved Breaking Dawn! I strongly support it, and don't see what so many people didn't like about it!**


	10. Why Renesmee is better than Claire

**Reasons Renesmee is better than Claire!!**

**(The idea for this chapter came from somerandomTwilightfan. Thank you soooo much for comming up with it!)**

1. Renesmee has an awesome dad!

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2. Renesmee has a very devoted mother who was willing to give her life for her.

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3. Renesmee was imprinted on by Jacob, who is way cooler than Quil!

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4. Renesmee is half vampire, half human!

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5. Renesmee sparkles!

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6. Renesmee has an AWESOME grandpa!! (i love charlie...)(although i don't know if claire has an awesome grandpa too...)

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7. Renesmee will live forever, while Claire won't.

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**wow. that's all i could think of!! Pathitic, huh? the next chapter is going to be more reasons why Edward's better than Jacob, because after i made that chapter, i've gotten a lot of more reviews with more great sugestions!! I'd LOVE LOVE LOOOOOVE more reasons! PLEASE? If you can think of anything, ANYTHING AT ALL, please review and tell me and i'll use it in my next chapter and give u the credit! YAY! **


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